I love to cook. I would say that being half Jewish, I learned to show love that way, but the lesson came mostly from my mom who was definitely a shiksa, great cook, and the most wonderful human ever.
When holiday time hits, I seem to channel her. This past month, I had decided that I was going to keep things simple. No big dinners. Nothing fancy. So, what did I do? I made two Hannukah dinners since a friend was in town. Having announced that I would not do a prime rib, I cooked one of those on Christmas Eve. The following evening’s feast featured a side of salmon with crab and preserved lemon risotto, capped off by a cheesecake topped with candied lemons and fresh pomegranate seeds.
Mind you, I’ve never made candied lemons or crab and lemon preserve risotto, but why would either be bad? Ditto for the creamed spinach mixed mashed potatoes in puff pastry that I tried for the first time the night before. As expected, all three were amazing. Perhaps more amazing was the fact that I served three experiments to guests. On Christmas.
Not that long ago, I would never have made a dish for company that wasn’t tried and true. Now I just figure that I’m a good enough cook to pull it off, and if for some reason it fails, then we’ll just dive into the frig and opt for Plan B. We haven’t needed to do that yet.
That increased self-assurance mixed with less apprehension has also translated to my life on the personal and professional fronts. In college, I wrote an essay called “Confessions of a People Pleaser.” I’ll let you imagine how well that approach worked on the dating front. As a freelancer, I worked hard to come off as smart and sophisticated to all those New York editors. That wasn’t much help either.
Then I got older, and a lot more comfortable with myself. With that has come a much more authentic, take-it-or-leave-it attitude. Sure, I want everyone to like me. Sure, I want everyone—and I mean everyone—to like my writing. But I know they won’t, and that’s just fine.
Trying to follow a trend when writing to appeal to readers works just about as well as investing in the market and always opting for the hottest stocks. On the financial front, this leads to buying high and selling low—a recipe for financial disaster. On the writing front, the only thing worse than the fact that the trend you’re trying to cling to will be long gone by the time you publish is that after all that work, your book won’t represent you. What’s the point? So, these days I make a point to cook and write with the same confidence and creativity.
My wish for you in 2024 is that you live, eat, love, cook and write in a way that authentically reflects you. Here’s to playing to your strengths while finding the confidence and courage to try a few experiments along the way.
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