Asking for help is never easy. Believe me, I know. In my twenties, I spent five years in a tiny High Sierra ski resort called Bear Valley. In the winter, the subdivision is closed to cars, so the only way to get around is to walk, ski, and snowmobile. Since that area gets some of the country’s most significant snowfalls, I did a lot of digging during that time. I’d have to shovel out the walkway to get to the snowmobile, which I’d have to shovel out before heading down to shovel out the car that was buried and needed to be moved. That’s three shoveling stints in a single morning, assuming I didn’t get the snowmobile stuck between the house and the road.
Did I make it a habit to ask for help? Of course not. I only called for reinforcements when I had proven to myself that I absolutely, positively could not avoid asking for help. Of course, that usually took hours.
I know I’m not the only one who struggles when it comes to asking for help. “People are hardwired to want to do things on their own and be independent-minded,” M. Nora Bouchard, an executive and leadership coach and the author of Mayday! Asking for Help in Times of Need told CNBC a month after the start of the Covid-19 pandemic. Guilty as charged.
But that comes at a cost.
It’s taken me decades to realize I don’t have to do everything—or even figure out how to do everything—on my own. Maybe that’s why the TV interview with tennis star Aryna Sabalenka following her win of this year’s Australian Open struck me so powerfully.
In 2022, Sabalenka drew media attention for all the wrong reasons when she served up over 428 double faults in 55 matches—a third more than any other player on the women’s tour. The “Queen of Double-Faults,” as she dubbed herself, even resorted to some underarm serves that season.
Something had to give. Realizing that her motion had a mechanical problem, she traded stubbornness for perseverance and brought in an expert to fix her serve. “I didn’t want to go around the problem,” she told the interviewer. “I wanted to go through it.”
Asking for help resulted in Sabalenka earning her first Grand Slam victory this January, along with a check for more than $2 million.
While asking for help probably won’t prove quite as financially profitable for most of us, it may just help us realize our dreams. And that, as they say, is priceless.
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