Tell Your Story in a Memoir

You’ve decided to tell your story in a memoir. Okay, but now what?

That’s actually not the first question you have to ask yourself. The question that will launch your memoir is:

Why am I writing this?

That single question will not only provide you with the focus you need for the entire book, it will help you identify your starting point. And in most cases, that won’t be with your birth or even your early childhood.

Let’s get one thing clear. A memoir is not an autobiography. This book is not intended to be the chronicle of your entire life. Whether your memoir provides a slice of your life or the better part of the pie, it always has a specific theme or focus. Think of it as a lens through which to examine and recount a specific perspective on—or defining event of—your life.

Take Becoming by Michelle Obama. Although her memoir ranges from her childhood to the White House and beyond, she captures its theme in the first sentence:

I spent much of my childhood listening to the sound of striving.

Whether chronicling her upbringing, her courtship with the man who would become our 44th president or her ambivalence about politics, she stays true to that perspective of striving, which she wraps up beautifully at the end of the book:

It’s not about where you get yourself in the end. There’s power in letting yourself be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice. And there’s grace in being willing to know and hear others. This, for me, is how we become.

I love that last paragraph. I love the whole book. And to be honest, that’s the best argument I’ve ever heard for bringing on a writing coach to help you tell your story in a memoir that will help others to become.