I’ve always needed time to recover when a relationship ends. But five years? It was clearly time to do more than suggest to friends and clients (hint, hint) that I might be interested in meeting a warm, smart man who’s as comfortable on a mountain trail as he is at a Broadway play. So I joined OK Cupid and was immediately reminded about what a difference originality and authentic writing make.
Most of my would-be suitors sounded like they’d all read the same playbook about opening lines. Sadly, authentic writing is in short supply in the online dating world, witness the following message openers which obviously didn’t work for me:
- Hey there sexy.
- Good evening Beautiful. How are you doing today and how was your day?
- Hello dear…How are you doing?wow i really love your pics and your charming smiles..Do you care for a short chat?
- How are you doing, Cutie Angel?
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Wow so gorgeous, how are you doing..?
- Hello dear, hope your day has been as beautiful as you are
- You are so cute and i wonder why such a cute woman like you on here….
- Hi, I must confess that your beauty made me forget my pickup line.
There’s more, but you get the idea. I’m not the type who responds to flattery even when it’s genuine. So hand me an obvious, cheezy line and forget it. After the above onslaught of less-than-authentic writing, I was ready to rely on having family members set me up on blind dates. Considering how well that’s gone in the past (to be read in a sarcastic tone), that’s saying a lot.
For better or worse, a few messages made me laugh out loud:
- Darling, you look divine! If I were to present your picture in heaven, so many angels will hide their face in shame. How are you doing and nice meeting you here, Am Greg
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Hey Gorgeous, How are you doing?Anyway there was no way i could just flip pass your page when i saw how astonishing beautiful you look,.I must say Your beauty beats the imagination of almost all men in their fantasy world.
- Hi beautiful angel , how are you today , i must confess you are so cute just like an angel sent from heaven , I hope you dont mind saying hi.
Some of the user names were even worse than the messages that seemed as fake as they were grammatically challenged. Llamaboy? Hairyman? Beachmanlov?
Thankfully, a few men skipped the crap and reacted to my profile instead of my photo, writing notes that stressed authenticity rather than flattery. I actually might want to share a glass of wine with one or more of them. But I’ll start by sending back a message that will stand out due to its authentic writing. I’ll include honest self-assessment rather than pat answers and I’ll stay true to myself rather than highlighting what I think they want to hear. Most of all, I promise never to use the words stud, manly man or dude.
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