Over the last year-plus, most of us have experienced Covid in a variety of personal ways. We’ve been forced to isolate. Work has been impacted. Friends and family have gotten sick, as have some of us. In short, it’s been a tough slog. But the journey has been far more challenging for long-haulers.
After months of silence, I finally heard from my client and friend Derek Reed, a certified financial planner who had to put on hold the publication of his book The Imperfect Storm: How to Successfully Navigate the Risky Financial Seas of Retirement when he started experiencing scary symptoms that the doctors now assume were triggered by Covid. More than a year later, Derek, who has been diagnosed with POTS dysautonomia–a disorder of the autonomic nervous system that controls heart rate and blood pressure–is working hard to simply be able to stand for 30 minutes without issue and to be able to walk a mile without his system shutting down.
“Modest goals for sure from where I’ve been my whole life physically, but that’s my new reality,” Derek wrote. Did I mention that before he got sick, Derek was the quintessential Energizer Bunny, just a lot fitter?
As impressive as Derek’s determination and persistence are when it comes to his recovery, his grace and wisdom are what really stand out. With his permission, I’m going to share part of his email to me:
I’ve learned a lot about myself this last year Linden, as, I’m sure, have many. I’ve learned that patience in all things is important and that I must slow down my hectic pace of life. Even though it filled my tank and gave me energy, I could have easily burned out the flame in these next couple of years and suffered greatly. I’ve learned that being physically fit doesn’t just mean CrossFit and HIIT style workouts, that I can be strong physically by slowing down and focusing on the foundational things like breathing, stretching, muscle contraction and pliability, and that my focus shouldn’t be on doing what I’ve done for 49 years but on this next phase.
Congrats to me that I finished the first phase and can now focus on what is to come more methodically in phase 2! As my chiropractor states, “Envision yourself becoming a healthy, vibrant grandparent, not a football player or track runner anymore!” Self-care is vital and different from being selfish – if I’m not good to me first, then I am of no good use or service to others. So, I focus intently on my recovery, back off many of the things that got me to and through phase 1 and adapt – phase 2 must be different!
Having a team is vital – a team at work, a team of docs and specialists, a team at home and with friends – is essential. I have never asked or accepted so much help in my entire life. It’s okay to accept help and it’s important for the helper to feel like they are being a help, so I have learned to accept it with grace and gratitude.
The virus and POTS altered my life and created quite a storm of new realities, emotions and mental/ physical challenges like never before. But everything I have done and been up to this point has prepped me for this storm and I will come out the other side better for it. That has to be the truth lest I be an idiot and never be the wiser. I reflect on that fact often – and am thankful for all of it.
I’m now in a different season and place and must adapt. Assets and money and anything of value which can be used for great life experiences and memory creators are absolutely pointless and useless if your health is compromised greatly. Without physical health and a positive mental outlook, there’s little to dream about much less do. Staring at the ceiling wondering if you’re going to faint and get up again this time or when the zombie is going to leave your body is quite humbling. So, I appreciate the bird songs more and the windchime, our yard and property and the trees here at home like never before as I sit and rest lots and take it all in – usually with a glass of wine in hand on an Adirondack chair next Karen my [wife and] fantastic nurse!
Maybe I had to get sick to get really healthy. I don’t know. But whatever is to come will be better, bigger, more intentional as I will have had better perspective in the creation of it all.
I tear up every time I read those words. Here’s to you, Derek. Thank you for sharing your hard-gained wisdom with the rest of us.
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