Dad died on April 23, two days after his 87th birthday. For some reason, coming across a pledge Dad wrote on his 80th birthday seems even sweeter because of that. The piece, written a couple of years before he found the second love of his life, is very personal. Dad was an intensely private man, but I don’t think he would mind my sharing this. I hope it inspires you to live your life to the fullest.
The Pledge
No idea why, but on the first day of my 80th year—yes, true—I am awash in ideas about how I want to live this day, this year and any others I might enjoy. Enjoy is the word. I am tired of feeling sorry for myself, tired of depression, tired of wasting time sitting immobile on a stool as I’m dressing or in a chair as I finish work or contemplate what to do of an evening. I am alive, by God—who knows for how much longer?—and I am hurting only myself if I don’t make the most of it. The one and only thing wrong with my life is that I don’t have a woman to love. But I had a woman to love for more than fifty years, one of the best women, if not the best woman who ever lived. Certainly the most beautiful I ever glimpsed. That is or should be more than enough good fortune for one man, and I should spend the rest of my days not in sorrow over her loss but in celebration of her life and the love she gave me.
Because I was so spectacularly fortunate in love, it may be that I won’t find anything that can match it and will therefore live alone for the rest of my life. Not a compelling prospect, but if I dwell on it and let it depress me I send out vibrations that make finding someone all the more difficult. I’m sure it shows in my expressions and my body language. Women seem to find me a decent enough looking fellow, but if I’m moping about, frowning or scowling at the world, or if I’m slumped over, head forward, that’s what’s going to register.
So:
Stand tall, for God’s sake!
Celebrate each day by making the most of it. Cliché of clichés, but the truest of them all.
Write.
Read.
Practice piano.
Play! Play golf, ski, HAVE FUN.
Be good to yourself. Eat out more. Go to movies, yes, by yourself. Travel a bit, perhaps to Ashland. Or don’t travel if that’s going to reinforce your loneliness. You’ve traveled, you’ve seen plays, you can make the most of your life here in your beautiful home by watching films and plays on your home theater.
Stay focused, stay positive. And be careful about the amount of everyone’s favorite depressant you imbibe. One glass, with dinner, should do it. In addition to giving you sounder sleep and making you feel better through the day, it’s a pound a month, twelve pounds in a year. Just that.
Nice to know that Dad gave himself all that advice he gave me again and again. Even nicer to know that he did find that woman he was looking for, that he did read, that he did write (he finished what he felt was his best play a month before his death) and that, according to his piano teacher who came to his memorial party, he could have become a professional had he started his piano training earlier in life.
So I ask you. Are you making the most of each of your days? If not, what’s your pledge?
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